On the phone:
"Hi, hon. I forgot to tell you about something."
"Yeah, you were hunting, and I just realized you should probably know about this. But I'm not sure how to tell you."
"It's nothing bad. It's just... have you gotten any emails from Husband Hero, or HH or something?"
"Ummm, I might have. Why?"
I wince. "You probably deleted it, huh? Not knowing what it was?"
"Umm," I hear him clicking on his keyboard, "yeah, I get a lot of junk mail."
"I know. That's why I'm calling. It just occurred to me that you might trash it."
"It's not in my trash can anymore. Well, what is it?"
"Did you read my blog?"
"Umm. yeah. Oh, that thing about paying for this?"
"I didn't get what that was about. Should I have clicked on the link?"
I chuckle. "Mm-hmm. Let's do that now."
We get on the site together. I tell him our password. He giggles.
"Okay, click on the intro and read that."
He mumbles as he reads.
"This costs money?" Those of you who know my husband are laughing.
My voice raises just slightly. "Yes. I paid for it myself. With my own money. Eleven whole dollars for a year." Okay, so it was raised a little more than slightly.
"Okay, okay." He sounds amused and convinced. I relax again. He resumes murmuring as he reads.
"Okay, done. I get tips?"
"You already read the whole thing?"
"Did you read about where I've listed my favorites and stuff?"
He finds the spot he skimmed over and mumbles some more. "Oh, so they have that all about you?"
"Should I click on that?"
"Oh. Oh wow, look. Did you fill that all out?"
"Well, I want to read it."
"I want you to read it, but not while I'm on the phone."
"Oh, okay. Hey, do I get to fill this out, too?"
"No, it's just for the wives."
"Because I know all this stuff about you."
He chuckles. "But they should have this for the husbands."
"They know the wives know this already."
"But can I fill it out?"
"If you want to fill it out on paper and give it to me, that would be great."
"I can't fill it out right here?"
I am laughing. "Because those are my answers. It would delete my answers."
He is reading quietly, then breaks. "Hey, is this why you put that bag of toffee peanuts on my pillow yesterday?"
"No. I ordered those from Alison's Pantry two months ago. I know you love them, and they came yesterday."
He is smiling. "Oh. But you get tips too, right?"
"Yes, I get tips. But the program is called Husband Hero."
He chuckles again. "Right."
"Okay, you keep reading, I am going to figure out how to get them to re-send you the first email, with the tips."
"Okay. I'm going to fill this out."
"Right. Bye, Sweetheart."
"Love you. Bye."
Oh, how I love that man of mine.
My B and the unlucky Pronghorn