I have decided to address a subject some of us loathe, some of us cringe away from, and some of us just wonder about. I was visiting with some friends and we were chatting about our busy lives, housework, kids, chaos, etc. The usual. Then, one of them said, while looking down at her toddler who was trying to crawl up her leg, using her pants as a tow rope, "Could you please just tell us something about yourself that makes you seem less perfect?"
I paused, not sure who she was talking to. The other woman looked at me and agreed. "Yes, Krista, please."
"Are you talking to me?!"
They acknowledged that they were. I looked at them both, then burst out laughing. I asked them what would make them say that. Their answers included, as they wrestled their children, observations that my house was always clean (I snorted), and beautiful (comfortable), I was slender (so?). I stopped them.
"Do you want to come over to my house right now?! The sink is full of dishes. I am so tired at the end of the day, I seldom do dishes after dinner. I do them in the morning, or even later. And, for some reason, I noticed there are blankets all over the house, in little mounds all over. I am 3 days behind in laundry because I have been reading. Sometimes, most times, after getting after my kids about something, I realize that there is no way I would talk to them like that if other people were in the house. Not even my Mom. And I bet you about 80% of my home decor is hand-me-downs from my Mom and sister, which, don't get me wrong, I love..."
Mentally, I was making an even longer list (prideful, easily distracted, hard-headed, too shy, a dependency on Twizzlers). But, by the time I got to this point, I could see that they were calmed down a bit. So, I got deeper.
I shared that I live in almost constant pain, a result from a car crash and back injury years ago. I admitted that sometimes I get so frustrated with the pain that I cry, and wonder why I still have to suffer. I told them that my marriage is strong, and wonderful, but that hasn't always been the case. I reminded them that I had lost a child, a baby girl who only lived a couple of hours and died in our arms. So, no, I wasn't perfect. I told them that going through these things, these very imperfect trials made me realize how strong I am, much stronger than I had believed, and maybe that was what they sensed from me. They listened.
Comparing ourselves to other women, as easy as it is, is so wrong. It hurts us to do that. We don't know what others have been through, and everyone lives a life, full of all kinds of struggles and imperfections. No matter what we look like, or appear to be. I read something once, and I don't know who said it, but the meaning was this: Perfection is not an end; it is a journey... it is not a noun; it is a verb... it is not a result; it is a process.
Shannon, my friend who had approached the subject in the first place, is a mother of 6 children under the age of 10. Her husband is a doctor and works long hours and is on call often. Her home is peaceful and welcoming when I have visited. She ran a half-marathon this spring. I had recently told my mom, who was asking about my friends who gave me a birthday lunch, that Shannon was one of the most beautiful women I know. She bakes.
Karma moved here not too long ago, and immediately made a place for herself in our circle. She is open and honest, and has no trouble expressing her thoughts, questions, and concerns. She cares deeply about her family and it shows. She is just eager to learn and share and doesn't hold back. She is going to have a baby in a few months, her 4th, and is just letting herself get excited because she has lost one, too. I enjoy her contributions to our discussions in book club, and love that she looks you right in the eyes when she is talking to you. Every time I talk to her, I feel I know her better.
I know so many beautiful women who are just trying. We are so hard on ourselves. I think if we saw in ourselves, what other people see, we wouldn't compare so much. And if we knew what those other women are going through, we would thank heaven for our own short-comings. It is a lesson I am still learning. In all my imperfection.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
A Run For Peaches & Pears!
For the last I-don't-know-many years, my Mother-in-law has made a trip to an orchard in the Boise area, where she grew up, to bring back fresh fruit to the mountain communities she has lived in. When she and I moved this way a few years ago, she enlisted me, and I was happy to join in her cause. What cause, you may ask? Well, here in NW Wyoming, if a person owns a fruit tree, a precious apricot, for example, it is anybody's guess that the tree will make it through the winter, or bear blossoms, let alone fruit. The results in the marketplace are, of course, you pay out the nose for fresh fruit.
So, we take orders and make a run to Idaho, where the season is long and warm, fill up a U-Haul, 
and greet our friends and neighbors who have placed an order with smiles. Mom gets so excited about it she has a hard time turning people down, so this year we had over 500 boxes of fruit to bring home.
Dad joked, sort of, that we would need to get our hands on a Boeing 747 next year. Do you see that smile on her face, though? That is how Mom looks when she is serving. I love that smile. Of course, you have to get up pretty early to pick up peaches and drive them 12 hours home. Have I mentioned I am not a morning person? Part of that 12 hours is right through Yellowstone. I call it a perk. Yellowstone National Perk, haha. Happy canning!
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
My Other Blog Is A Cookbook
I just wanted to announce the opening of my new blog, Taste Of Blue Sky. You may recall me mumbling something about getting a cookbook done. Well, I have decided to put all that work onto a blog. I would still like to do a book down the road, but I am very excited about this venue, and just getting the recipes out there. So, check it out, copy, paste, print it out, and get to eating! And tell your friends! It is still under construction, but I will be adding to it all the time. Eat and feel better!www.tasteofbluesky.blogsot.com
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
What Can I do...I'm A Product of the 80's
I spent a little time yesterday putting together some workout music. I love good rhythm and usually can't sit still when I hear one. Ask my husband. We chaperone the dances at the high school, and it is torture to just stand there, looking cool (don't get me wrong, the last thing I would want is to be Mr. & Mrs. Jensen, the fox-trotting uber-chaperones). It takes all my focus to just stand and tap my toe... Once, though, the theme for prom was something that allowed music from different eras and the kids had learned some of the dances, so I got to swing, waltz, and cha cha to a live band, all in good fun. The kids seemed to appreciate that, and my B was a good sport, and a good partner. But could we just go out there and get down with our bad selves? NO! No, no, no.
But what is a girl like me supposed to do? I was born too late for disco, and too early for mosh pits. Thank heaven. I grew up with Madonna, Bon Jovi, U2, Erasure, INXS, Duran Duran, Depeche Mode, Def Leppard, etc., etc... There were good bands in the 90's, but I felt like the nation forgot to dance. Seal, Janet Jackson, Savage Garden, Smashmouth, Matchbox 20, and most of those mentioned earlier, arguably kept it going though. I noticed the kids, instead of dancing, would just jump up and down with their hands in the air. Like they were at a concert. Hmmm. It bothered me, and I thought, "Am I old?" Nawww. I was in my 20's in the nineties! It's better now. But I am not in my 20's anymore.
So, I rock out in my car. I tap out the drums and sing, and play air guitar on my seatbelt. I try to be subtle. If Chels is driving and I am in the passenger seat, or the whole fam is in the car, though, it is not so subtle, and we have too much fun. Hooray for satellite radio. My sister and I grinning from ear to ear, flying down the highway to a farmers market, listening and rocking out as our parents giggle at us from the back seat. Last summer, people.
And I dance at home. In the kitchen while I cook, in the family room as I put away laundry, right here by the computer if a great song hits just right and my kids are up for some dance practice.
What do I listen to now, when I want to move (exercise, clean the house, drive my kids all over town)? I dare you to listen and not move (press pause on My Playlist on the right). I could seriously just keep walking as I listen... 3 miles? Piece of cake.
And, this does have it's place. Quiet, restful, peaceful music is appreciated...Josh Grobin, Nora Jones, classical piano, my country music, inspirational compositions all have their turn. The music I choose for this blog is upbeat, positive thinking, and usually has something to do with my posts. It is music I love.
When I want to move, get stuff done, smile at myself, I hit this stuff.
But what is a girl like me supposed to do? I was born too late for disco, and too early for mosh pits. Thank heaven. I grew up with Madonna, Bon Jovi, U2, Erasure, INXS, Duran Duran, Depeche Mode, Def Leppard, etc., etc... There were good bands in the 90's, but I felt like the nation forgot to dance. Seal, Janet Jackson, Savage Garden, Smashmouth, Matchbox 20, and most of those mentioned earlier, arguably kept it going though. I noticed the kids, instead of dancing, would just jump up and down with their hands in the air. Like they were at a concert. Hmmm. It bothered me, and I thought, "Am I old?" Nawww. I was in my 20's in the nineties! It's better now. But I am not in my 20's anymore.
So, I rock out in my car. I tap out the drums and sing, and play air guitar on my seatbelt. I try to be subtle. If Chels is driving and I am in the passenger seat, or the whole fam is in the car, though, it is not so subtle, and we have too much fun. Hooray for satellite radio. My sister and I grinning from ear to ear, flying down the highway to a farmers market, listening and rocking out as our parents giggle at us from the back seat. Last summer, people.
And I dance at home. In the kitchen while I cook, in the family room as I put away laundry, right here by the computer if a great song hits just right and my kids are up for some dance practice.
What do I listen to now, when I want to move (exercise, clean the house, drive my kids all over town)? I dare you to listen and not move (press pause on My Playlist on the right). I could seriously just keep walking as I listen... 3 miles? Piece of cake.
And, this does have it's place. Quiet, restful, peaceful music is appreciated...Josh Grobin, Nora Jones, classical piano, my country music, inspirational compositions all have their turn. The music I choose for this blog is upbeat, positive thinking, and usually has something to do with my posts. It is music I love.
When I want to move, get stuff done, smile at myself, I hit this stuff.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Plain Jane
I lost my blog background and I fear there is no hope. Until I get it figured out, I will be plain-Jane. Ah well. Hopefully, I will find something I like even more.
I have been reading. My friends finally talked me into jumping on the Twilight bandwagon. I wasn't really interested... c'mon, vampire stories written by a Mormon author? But they kept at me. So, I got the first one from Jamie, the next 2 from Shannon, and the last one from Jamie. Read those, then re-read the first one, now reading the last one again. I read them so fast, I wanted to see what I missed the first time around. Here is what I got out of these best-selling books...
1. The description of the Olympic Peninsula took me right back to growing up in that area. You really were shocked to wake up to light coming in through the windows. I could feel the drizzle, hear it, feel the moss on the trees, smell the perpetually wet litter of the forest floor, feel the cold wind at the water's edge and hear the crunch of the rocks on the beach. Gray mist.
2. I have heard people say it is a story of choices. I would say a bit more. It is about taking what we are handed in life, no matter how dire, how hopeless, and still trying to rise above it, still trying to find a way to be human, in the very best definition of the word.
3. Potential is a very near-sighted vision for most of us. We are all given gifts, talents, some hidden, some clear, and how many of us think we don't have any? That we are insignificant? Are we taking, seeking opportunities to unlock those talents, those spiritual gifts? Will we stumble upon them? Who are we, really? Better than we think.
4. Finally, I have to say, the romantic relationship between the hero and heroine is chemistry-filled. I love that it is based on his 1900's upbringing and still burns... a soulmate is a soulmate. And so, he is patient and resists. What is the reward for denying baser urges and allowing a higher ideal to rule? Balance? A greater love beyond our understanding? Often, in life, when we have struggled, but not given in to hate, immorality, or loss of faith, but have endured with patient hope, the outcome has been so much better then what we would have even imagined for ourselves. Even when we feel ourselves unworthy.
It actually reminds me of Jane Eyre, one of my favorites.
Okay, so that was a little deeper than I wanted to go, but there you have it. I have to admit it... I liked these books. I am not, however, going to get a bumper sticker that reads "My heart belongs to my husband, but my neck belongs to Edward". Tacky tacky tacky. Brandon has all of me.
I have been reading. My friends finally talked me into jumping on the Twilight bandwagon. I wasn't really interested... c'mon, vampire stories written by a Mormon author? But they kept at me. So, I got the first one from Jamie, the next 2 from Shannon, and the last one from Jamie. Read those, then re-read the first one, now reading the last one again. I read them so fast, I wanted to see what I missed the first time around. Here is what I got out of these best-selling books...
1. The description of the Olympic Peninsula took me right back to growing up in that area. You really were shocked to wake up to light coming in through the windows. I could feel the drizzle, hear it, feel the moss on the trees, smell the perpetually wet litter of the forest floor, feel the cold wind at the water's edge and hear the crunch of the rocks on the beach. Gray mist.
2. I have heard people say it is a story of choices. I would say a bit more. It is about taking what we are handed in life, no matter how dire, how hopeless, and still trying to rise above it, still trying to find a way to be human, in the very best definition of the word.
3. Potential is a very near-sighted vision for most of us. We are all given gifts, talents, some hidden, some clear, and how many of us think we don't have any? That we are insignificant? Are we taking, seeking opportunities to unlock those talents, those spiritual gifts? Will we stumble upon them? Who are we, really? Better than we think.
4. Finally, I have to say, the romantic relationship between the hero and heroine is chemistry-filled. I love that it is based on his 1900's upbringing and still burns... a soulmate is a soulmate. And so, he is patient and resists. What is the reward for denying baser urges and allowing a higher ideal to rule? Balance? A greater love beyond our understanding? Often, in life, when we have struggled, but not given in to hate, immorality, or loss of faith, but have endured with patient hope, the outcome has been so much better then what we would have even imagined for ourselves. Even when we feel ourselves unworthy.
It actually reminds me of Jane Eyre, one of my favorites.
Okay, so that was a little deeper than I wanted to go, but there you have it. I have to admit it... I liked these books. I am not, however, going to get a bumper sticker that reads "My heart belongs to my husband, but my neck belongs to Edward". Tacky tacky tacky. Brandon has all of me.
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